I was visiting my mentor, Jack Zimmerman an eighty-eight-year-old wise man. Who actually lives on the side of a mountain here on the Big Island of Hawaii. I drive up to see him every six weeks. He’s a jewel in my life. I value his insights, soak up his wisdom, and grow from our connection.
This particular day, we were talking about an upcoming speaking engagement that I have at the Symposium on Yoga Therapy and Research (SYTAR). I’m teaching the embodiment of the ancient Hawaiian ritual of reconciliation Ho’oponopono.
I shared with Jack that the purpose of my talk is to support people in reclaiming their feminine energy. This reclamation will ease the duality between the feminine and masculine energies inside each of us. I envision these opposing forces dissolving into one another. As they begin to work together it will ultimately allow men and women to work together to care for our ailing world.
As we got deeper into the conversation I shared how proud I was of women. Since #metoo we’ve obtained a voice and are using it to change the old patriarchal system. I went on to share that teaching Ho’oponopono was giving women a way to forgive the injustices of men.
Best of all, I shared a breakthrough from a client
My client, Sheila had always experienced huge anxiety if she was out walking on the trail near her house alone and a man was coming toward her. Doing the Ageless Movement Practices Sheila understood she was carrying unprocessed fear in her hips.
So, of course, when Sheila went for her next trail walk a man approached her on the trail. Sheila went into her normal panic, then remembered that she was carrying unprocessed fear in her hips. She felt a wave of calm come over her, held her head high, looked the man in the eye, and smiled at him. A huge accomplishment for Shelia.
She didn’t project her held fears on a man she didn’t know
When my sharing was complete, Jack got a twinkle in his eye as he often does when an inspiration overcomes him. He said, “When the women you work with are triggered into fear of a man, advise them to ask him — “What kind of man are you?”
What kind of man are YOU??
As I drove away from my visit with Jack, A thought came over me — I have masculine energy within me. So, I asked myself, What kind of man are you, Michelle?”
The man I am
Whoa! The answer flowed immediately out of me and I was shocked. Here’s what came out. “You keep way too busy to address your needs and to really listen to the needs of me, your feminine. You are kind and helpful unless you get triggered by your childhood wounds. Then watch out — you panic and want to find a solution right away. In going to solution you often step on my toes and the toes of others. Hurting my feelings and theirs. You do take responsibility for your fumbles but you expect others to have the same humility you do. Your rapid-fire way of handling life causes me, your feminine to become stressed and I’ve watched others around you stress because of it too. You need to relax, be kind to your whole self and trust me your feminine.”
Truth!
Immediately I knew all this to be true. And the parts of men in my life I find irritating I could now, see in myself. I would like to relax more. I want to sit back and live into the questions in my life. As a favorite passage from Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke writes:
I want to beg you, as much as I can, dear sir, to be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.
I knew my masculine side needed to stop and listen to my feminine more. To honor her feelings and most importantly trust her. All my masculine study, analyzing, thinking and doing was keeping my feminine inner truths at bay. As Rilke says, I want to live everything. Live the questions now.
What keeps my masculine from living now?
I don’t trust my feminine. Wow. Okay. I wanted men outside of me to trust the feminine and give her a voice. While I put down my own feminine. Powered over my own inner voice. Kept her from living the questions because my masculine needed to have the answers now. OUCH!
Deep breath
Awareness is the first step toward healing. I’m more aware now. I will add relaxing into my day and trusting my feminine with this move:
Wide Leg Twist Pose
Sit with your legs straight in front of you. Extend through your heels and place your hands behind your butt cheeks. As you exhale begin to walk your legs wide apart. When you’ve walked them apart, inhale, lift your bottom up with your hands and exhale, slide forward opening your legs. Do several times until you can’t go any further.
Take your hands to center between your legs and as you exhale walk your hands forward and your heart down toward the earth. Keep your tail long and drop to your elbows if possible. Hold your edge and breathe.
Keep your heart facing the earth and walk your right hand to the inside of your right leg and tuck your hand under your right calf. Exhale turn from your navel bringing it up toward the sky. Extend your left arm overhead and make big circles with your left arm coming back and around. When ready hold your left arm overhead with your elbow behind your ear. Exhale bend from your side over your right leg taking your left fingers toward your left toes. Do NOT forward bend. Hold and breathe feeling the opening into your feminine side. Feel your masculine right side circling your left feminine side from the inside out.
To come out bring your arm toward the left and your body back to center. Take your hands behind your butt cheeks and rest feeling the circling energy of your feminine and masculine self in your belly.
Switch sides
Inhale, lift your bottom up with your hands and exhale slide forward opening your legs as far as possible. Do several times until you can’t go any further.
Take your hands to center between your legs and as you exhale walk your hands forward and your heart down toward the earth. Keep your tail long and drop to your elbows if possible. Hold your edge and breathe.
Keep your heart facing the earth and walk your left hand to the inside of your left leg and tuck your left hand under your left calf. Exhale turn from your navel bringing it up toward the sky. Extend your right arm overhead and make big circles with your right arm coming back and around. When ready hold your right arm overhead with your elbow behind your ear. Exhale bend over your left leg from your side taking your right fingers toward your left toes. Do NOT forward bend. Hold and breathe feeling the opening into your feminine side. Feel your masculine right side circling your left feminine side from the inside out.
To come out bring your arm toward the right and your body back to center. Take your hands behind your butt cheeks and rest feeling the circling energy of your feminine and masculine self in your belly.
Rest knowing you are uniting the dual forces of your masculine and feminine.
Question
What kind of man are you? I’d love to hear your answer in the comments below.
Hugs,
Michelle
Wow this was profound. Thank you Michelle. I discovered that my masculine side is so powerful it rarely lets my feminine say anything. My masculine is ashamed of the needs of my feminine and holds her down. Much to consider.
Great insight Patricia — I know this question has been profound for me!!